EU Press Release #5

The EU has taken the fight back to the Taliban with a vengeance. Taliban forces have been pushed back out of southern Afghanistan and their bases in Pakistan are now under attack. The EU wishes to express its sincere regrets about the accidental incursion into Pakistani territory and assures the world community that it intends to leave as soon as is safe for our forces.

The EU has also scored a great victory over the illegitimate successors to Pervez Musharraf. The arrest of Nawaz Sharif, a blatant slap in the face to democracy, has been rectified. Sharif was successfully rescued by crack European special forces and is now safe and back in communication with his PML-N party. With his inspired leadership, the EU is sure that a stable and effective government will soon arise in Pakistan.

Not all of the EU’s achievements have been military. The EU has also continued its long-term financial support to Pakistan by signing an agreement with the PML-N to alleviate inflation and the resulting energy and gas crisis. We sincerely hope this aid will help the ordinary Pakistani citizen lead a better life. The EU is committed to helping the citizens of Pakistan in any way possible.